I'm Back

I got busy and didn't write anything for months, so there's a lot of catching up to do. I left off in March, my how time flies.

Topic 1: The Heat. I can't stress enough how much I hate this weather. I can't sleep because it's too hot. Can't run outside because it's too hot. The only thing that I do well in the heat is sweat. I've been sweating like Rafael Palmeiro in front of congress all summer long. This weather sucks. I was told that in some places when it gets really hot, they eat spicy foods and soup. I never quite understand this logic. I guess when it's 6 below they bring out the snowcone machines. So back to the soup and spicy foods. I burnt my tongue and had a GERD attack.

Topic 2: Americans, please lose weight! I finally found a new suit to wear to a wedding. It only took me a month. Coats are usually ok for me, just a little tailoring. But the pants are always a disaster. Many companies now offer matching coats and pants in various sizes, a make your own sundae of sorts, but this would only help me if I wanted to dress like MC Hammer. Why can't I find pants that aren't cut for Geenies or Rock Cartwright? Pants today are cut for people with more ass than a donkey farm and legs as thick as lounge chairs. It takes me forever to find pants. When I get them back from the tailor, he gives me the extra fabric in a shopping cart. If only I could sew, I could make flags. I asked a guy at Hechts why this happens to me. Now, in fairness, Hechts has great prices and selection. They also have customer service second only to the MVA. The man at Hechts explained that Americans are getting bigger and clothing makers are only trying to accomodate. Well, SuperSize me!